Scenes from a Future Memory

Chapter 9: Electronic Sediments

2011-10-09 19:10:22 UTC by


March 21, 2007
2:08 am

Dear Claire,

I had a really good time with you Saturday. I've lived in DC all my life except for college, but somehow I never made it to the natural history museum. Thanks for showing me around. I guess sometimes we don't appreciate the good things that are right in front of us. (Especially old stuff that seems like it will always be there, like dinosaur bones :p)

You're one of those things that's always there, but I know that unlike those old fossils you could go off anywhere at a moment's notice. So I feel like I should let you know how much I care about you and that you've become an incredibly important part of my life. I don't know how you feel about me, but I think you're pretty great. And also pretty. And I'll keep thinking those things even if you don't see us every being more than friends. That said, I hope you'll let me take you on a real date.

No need to reply - I'll give you a call tomorrow.

Yours,

Patrick


July 25, 2007
10:54 pm

Dear Patrick,

I hope you're having fun in Peru. I'm so jealous that your work is paying you to see all the sights! I hope you haven't gotten any parasite or had any bad food-related experiences. I know you'll eat just about anything...but please make sure it's been cooked!!

Oh and send me some pics. With you in them! I don't want to just see stuff, no matter how great it is.

Some of my co-workers invited me out for a drink last weekend, and we spoke Japanese the whole time! I think they're getting more used to the fact that I make mistakes, but that that doesn't mean they need to switch over to English. I just wish I got to practice it a bit more, since I deal mostly with American ex-pats at the embassy.

Tokyo is amazing and I know this internship is a wonderful opportunity, but I miss you a lot and part of me can't wait to get back to Virginia and see you! I also haven't been able to work on my compositions at all this summer, so that's going to be a lot to take care of when I get back, if I'm going to apply to grad programs this fall.

I'm sending you a postcard - it should be there by the time you get back from Peru.

Kisses,

Claire


October 24, 2007
11:02 am

Claire!

Work is boring. I was thinking we should take a trip together this weekend. Camping in West Virginia? It would only take us a couple of hours to get to a really nice campsite I used to go to with my Dad. You can see so many stars out there....I'll bring a constellation map and we can find them together! Just set the portfolio aside this weekend and carpe diem. Please?

Love,

Patrick


March 10, 2008
12:14 pm

Dear Claire,

I'm sorry about what I said about your compositions last night. I guess I just failed to understand exactly how much they meant to or for you, or just how badly you wanted to get into grad school. For some reason, I never expected you to take it so hard, which was foolish.

You have to remember though, that this is not a rejection handed down by the world at large, just an arbitrary decision made by a handful of academics for reasons that may not have even been aesthetic. Just because they didn't accept you into their program doesn't mean your music is bad. Plenty of people, including me, still believe in your talent.

Anyways, I love you and I know you have so much to offer the world besides music.

- Patrick


March 10, 2008
Drafts
Saved 1:23 pm

I hate how you think your love can somehow make up for my failures.

But somehow, it's what I've got.

March 10. 2008
2:04 pm


Hey Patrick - it's ok. I believe you meant well. I just also wanted to believe that I was good enough to actually become a composer, and now I have to come up with some other plan.

I'll see you tomorrow, and I'll try to be in a better mood.

Love,

Claire

She read the emails, one by one. Searching through twenty years of communicational sediment for some comprehension. Had their love somehow been not-love?


November 22, 2026
10:03 am

Dear Patrick,

I am so angry and I can't believe we've let ourselves descend into such childish namecalling. It's stupid and immature and we both deserve better. The resentment is destroying me. I still love you very much and I want to try to work things out. I hate you and think you're a stupid ass why the hell did I marry you. I know we both believe in this and we have too much to just throw it away.

Claire glanced away from the screen and squinted into the mid-morning sun glaring through the window. The draft autosaved yet again. Patrick's dresser drawers hung yawning desperately, empty except for a few worn socks that had long since lost their match in the laundry.